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This is a talk I gave in church on February 10th, 2019
I am really excited to be here today. I know my husband and I are a little
different than most people in teaching and speaking, but I love the scriptures
and get so excited about them and I love to share my testimony with
others.
I was asked to speak on loving all people, a Christlike
example.
This topic goes perfectly with my personal theme word for 2019,
Which is nurture. Nurture each of my kids, nurture my marriage,
nurture myself, and nurture actually anyone that comes in my circle of
influence, which to me means to project love in any way I can, in my thoughts
my words and my actions.
But this talk is on loving all people, I think that means
even the people I don’t interact with.
The first time I felt love from someone I didn’t directly know
or speak with I was in a devotional at BYU-Idaho. I was sitting in the auditorium waiting for
President Henry B Eyring to speak. I
looked up at the podium, and saw him sitting there and he was looking out at
the sea of students. He didn’t even look
at me specifically, but all of a sudden my heart was overflowing with love, and
the spirit whispered to me how much Pres. Eyring loved me specifically and ALL
the students in this whole auditorium. I
was amazed how much love I could feel from someone who didn’t even know me
personally. It was a powerful and
beautiful experience.
Another time I gave a talk in sacrament meeting. I had been preparing and praying to know the
right things to say and how best to give the message God wanted me to give to
the people in our ward that day and as I got up and spoke I felt God’s love
fill me up and I felt his love for each person in that congregation. People I previously had gotten annoyed with
or maybe struggled to love before, all of that melted away into that love, and
it carried through to the rest of church and with my family through that
day.
It was then I learned that charity and loving others as
Christ does, even those I don’t have time or proximity to know well enough to
love is powerful and real. Much more powerful than just simply trying to love others
the best that I can, which I think is also important to do to the best of our
abilities, but charity truly is a gift of God, and a spiritual gift EVERYONE
can receive and we are actually commanded in Matthew 5:48 to be perfect at it. But first I want to ask
Why?
Why Charity?
Eph 3:19 “And to know the love of Christ which passeth
knowledge that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.”
Charity fills us up, with god’s power. Charity is God’s power and how he operates.
He only operates out of love, it’s HIS fulness!
1 Peter 4:8 JST “and above all things have fervent charity
among yourselves: for charity shall (prevent) the multitude of sins
When we are filled with the love of God, we are filled with
so much goodness, sin isn’t even enticing any longer.
It’s kind of like before dinner for me sometimes, I am so
hungry and my brain wants all the treats and cookies and everything that is
actually not going to make me feel the best.
But once I eat a wholesome dinner that fills me up, often I don’t even
want a treat after that. I am full of
real goodness, and that’s what happens with charity.
Neal A Maxwell said “Selfishness is actually the detonator
of all the cardinal sins. It is the hammer for the breaking of the Ten
Commandments.” If we are full of God’s
love though, none of those 10 commandments will break. They can’t be broken with that love that is
full in our hearts.
1 John 2:10-11 also says “He that loveth his brother abideth
in the light and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth
his brother is in darkness and walketh in darkness and knoweth not wither he
goeth because that darkness hath blindeth his eyes.
Part of the way charity helps us is by seeing situations
more clearly and in correct focus.
Frustration, anger, annoyance and hate blind us to the actual truth of a
situation, and often we will just blame and find fault in others and allow our
natural man to take the reigns, instead of humbly repent for our part in
whatever happened. It blinds us, and then
binds us to Satans power.
Often we don’t even realize it, and that is the scary and
hard part. I am sure you have noticed
this in someone else- when they are so angry and upset about something someone
else did, they don’t even realize their part in the situation, or sometimes an
easy solution, or the real reason why they might be acting poorly which often
has nothing to do with you, but because this person is acting this way, or this
person did this to them, they are going to hold onto it and really teach them a
lesson or reject this person or never learn to love or care about that person. But really they are the ones in
darkness. There is no light or the
spirit there.
Sometimes the darkness I am blinded by is even more subtle
though. Pride sometimes takes over and I start thinking of myself as above or
below that person I am not loving with a whole heart.
Jame Ferrell said this in his book Falling to Heaven
“Anything that makes me feel better (or worse) than another is darkness,
anything that makes me feel one with others is divine. True happiness is found not in a belief that
I am better but in the obliteration of any need to be.”
That’s what the world wants us to think that our happiness
comes as we prove or think we are better than others. But true happiness comes
in the obliteration of any need to be better than anyone.
I want you to think about that. Think about one of your very favorite people,
or your very best friend or friends you have had in the past. For me I feel a unity with that person. A unity that we are on the same page, they
don’t think they are better than me and I am don’t think I am better than
them. That unity brings light and
goodness and happiness to my life. And I
love those people. They are my favorite
people, I am invigorated to be around them because we lift each other when we
are together from our place of equality.
I met someone like that a few years ago. Every time I was in her presence I felt like
I was special to her, she loved and thought my kids were special and doted on
them. But I started watching her and
noticed, everyone thought she was their favorite. She exuded love to anyone around her, but it
wasn’t just people like her. She exuded
love to people that were far far different from her. And she loved their kids just as much, as
well her own many kids, which are still ALL at home.
I also love that all of President Nelson’s 57 grandchildren feel like they are his favorite. This reminds me of Moses 7:18 where the Lord called his people Zion because they were of one heart and one mind, President Nelson is already living that way, regardless if the other person is giving their heart back to him, he is loving all around him with his whole heart and mind.
For me that means I have to be aware of my thoughts. And when I find myself thinking of how I am
different than someone in better or worse ways, such as she’s so much funnier,
or my kids would probably thrive with her as their mom, or sometimes it’s the
opposite, wow good thing I haven’t snapped at my kids like that today, or she’s
dressed better than me, whatever it is, I immediately stop myself and I focus on
and actually say in my head what I love about that person. Sometimes I even put a mental note to ask
them more about what they are better at than I am. Tell me about your parenting philosophies, or
I never really learned how to apply makeup, can you teach me what bronzer is or
whatever. But it’s not from a place of I
lack, it’s from a place of I want to learn more, but that doesn’t mean you or I
are better than each other. Does that
make sense?
James Ferrell goes on to say “The gospel, by its very nature
is designed to strip us of pride of either the “I am better or I am worse
variety. And what is to take its place?
The simple realization that I am in need of Him. (or Christ)”
So how do we get that love in us?
Mosiah 4:11-12 gives us a roadmap to be filled with the love
of God. I am going to read the whole
thing and then break it up a little more.
“11. And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as
ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his
goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your
sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would
that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance the greatness of God,
and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you,
unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves, calling on the name of the Lord
daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come… 12. And
behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be
filled with the love of God”
So I’m going to break it down, the first step to “always
rejoice and be filled with the love of God” is to taste of God’s love. I love that this is the first step, that
he’ll give us this love if we seek it BEFORE we even DESERVE it. This love is also what motivates us in ALL
things in life. It’s my favorite feeling,
feeling God’s love for me, it’s so incredible, and that’s why I study my
scriptures, worship in the temple, strive to love and serve others, etc because
I want more of God’s love for me in my life.
But he’ll give it to anyone who asks BEFORE we even deserve it! So ask Him!
The second step it says is to receive a remission of your
sins, or repent. Tasting of God’s love
for us gives us the power and strength and even desire to repent. And then it says that repentance will cause
such exceedingly great joy in our souls.
Which is more of God’s goodness and power in our lives.
But then step three after we have felt God’s love and power
we have repented and we are clean, we need to remember to be humble. That humility again from the James Ferrell
quote, “The gospel by its very nature is designed to strip us of pride- of
either the I am better or I am worse variety.
And what is to take its place?
The simple realization that I am in need of Him, or Christ.” That is true humility, to recognize that every
preson in this world is dependent on Christ in this life. So we don’t start thinking we are better OR
WORSE! than anyone else around us. We
all need Christ equally.
Then step number four- we need to remember God’s greatness towards
us. And then repeat steps 1-4 over and
over. J
This is how we get filled with the love of God.
I wish I could say because I understand the value of charity
intellectually and feel God’s love on a daily basis I am pretty much to where I
never sin anymore. But as a parent,
especially the more kids I have, this concept of charity and true godly love
has tested me to my core often daily and multiple times per day.
But although I have struggled through learning some of these
lessons
This is where forgiveness and grace enters in.
Pres Uchtdorf had a few thoughts on this matter.
He said “Too often we let ourselves be distracted by the
imperfections of our fellow members instead of following the example of our
Master.”
And
“The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint and
anger… Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn
how to let go of such things. That is
the Lord’s way.”
Once I allowed my anger and resentment towards someone to
fester for several months. I felt
justified in my anger because of this person’s actions toward me and I was
blinded to how my anger was affecting me spiritually. Finally, one day I was at BYU’s Education
Week, and the speaker told us to turn to the person next to us and tell them
what the spirit was telling us to do right in that moment. I surprised myself by saying to this random
person I didn’t even know that I needed to forgive this person and let go of my
hurt and anger, although this person wasn’t changing or fixing any of their
behaviors that had led to my anger. I
hadn’t even been thinking about that before the words popped out of my mouth to
the stranger. So I sincerely tried to
forgive for the next two months. I
prayed multiple times a day, I poured over my scriptures about topics like
forgiveness and love and anger and contention for over an hour each day, I read
about how to forgive and let go of hurt through psychological books and
articles, and tried to practice kind thoughts and words towards this
person. Nothing worked. I still felt the anger rise in me, and my
heart truly was in bondage because I let it be bound by the anger I thought I
was justified in holding onto. Then one
day two months after my sincere efforts I woke up and my anger was gone. It was the first time I had felt the
cleansing miraculous effect of the atonement in my life, and I have never been
more grateful for a gift as that one was in my life.
Uchdorf also said this “remember, heaven is filled with
those who have this in common they are forgiven and they forgive.”
Nephi forgave his brothers constantly, although they tried
to kill him several times. That’s kind
of intense. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t ever had someone try to kill
me, but Nephi frankly forgave them.
And of course our perfect example, Jesus Christ on the cross
after being mocked, spit upon, whipped, and nailed to a cross to die told his
Father to forgive them for they know what they do.
This gives me context for others that haven’t ever tried to
kill me, but have hurt me in smaller and bigger ways, but I know it is my
responsibility to forgive (and set boundaries if necessary, but to love them
through it all)
I want to invite you to consciously think of who the spirit
has been whispering to you during this talk who you can forgive and love better
in your life. Who God is calling you to
love because He has placed this person in your path, whether they are hard to
love, or you feel even deserve your love or maybe they don’t even love you
back, but they are there for a purpose for you to learn to love and forgive more
fully as Christ does.
I want to bear my testimony that charity is real. The Savior’s love and power for us to access
is real! And as we pray with all the energy of our soul we can be filled with
this amazing gift and power in our lives.
We might have to pray daily or several times a day for this gift, but
God’s love is the most incredible, amazing, filling feeling and worth every
effort we can give to obtain it.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.
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